The other mommy (dramtic music here)

Today was a long day. My son is going to bed earlier and earlier and yet my days seem longer and longer. This morning was greeted with a text message from Lil P's play date's mommy saying that when she got in the shower her lil man fell asleep so they will be a lil late. A little late!!!! There is no lil in an hour and a half!!! Usually I could care less what time the play date starts or ends, but Lil P is getting his two year molars at barely 19 months. At least I think he is every time I try to stick my finger in his mouth to see I'm left with bite marks that nearly broke the skin on my poor defenseless fingers...and heaven forbid it be in public....other moms staring at me after I unleash a slew of swear words fit for a Tarintino film. Anyhow, once his play date finally arrived to my tantrum throwing, nookie sucking, blanket carrying monster I decided the best idea was to walk the boys to the park and play for a bit. All was good in well as we walked I managed to seem interested in whatever it was she was babbling about and the boys we're happy as long as I forked over a continuous supply of crackers. So let me pause here to give you a little of the back story on the other mommy. We were not friends before we had our sons. I wouldn't even say we were acquittance's I went to school with her baby daddy. Anyhow once our sons we're of that age and I was to my max on boredom I figures we'd have a few play dates and everything would be grand. Thanks myspace, i.e. the devils playground. I did not heed warnings from my best friend(her sister in-law) and her husband (other mommies brother) my sister (they have mutual ex's) and about everyone else who had encountered this woman..wait let me rephrase girl. No, No I had to give her the benefit of the doubt, I should have know better. The OM (other mommy) has drug me into every aspect of her sadly immature world. Asking me everything from how to get her boyfriend (and I use the term loosely) to stop drinking to inviting me to those f$%$ing parties that they sell you stuff at. Now I have no problem with a sales party once and a while. Hell, gives me an excuse to ditch the boys and get in some girl time but once I month she is selling everything from tupperware to sex toys. I don't receive just one or two invites (reminders) I am barraged with 10 to 12 harassing emails and text messages. I wonder what constitutes a stalker???? Anyhow I tuned in on the walk back from the park to hear her rattling off about her most recent party...the sex toy one. She was rattling of a list of what she had bought. Now I'm pretty open and carefree when it comes to this stuff but com'on I really don't care if you just bought the 3 speed supper dooper rabbit hummper dildo. We are not friends and if we were I still don't want to know what you bought. After a certain age I stopped filling my friends in one my crazy sex stories. Come to think of it maybe it happened when the crazy sex stopped LOL. Regardless as I walked along pushing my close to speaking toddler I thought oh come on your really not going to discuss dildos in front of a couple toddlers shouldn't this conversation be reserved for Friday night drinks? I tuned back out hopping it to be that last of the sex toy talk. Not so lucky we got back to the house and she shoves a magazine in my face saying "I'm closing my sales today so if there is anything you want let me know" And I thought in my head I stick to doing my dirty toy shopping online in my pj's in the dark of my dinning room now that I am determined to get those wild days back..... Thank you very much....as I mumbled something about "we don't need sex toys things are hot enough around here" Ya I'm a bitch some days but if you wanna push my buttons I'll push yours right back and I can do it better girl!