Grandma must be laughing her butt off

As a child I spent hours upon hours at my grandmas house. I have the fondest memories from those days I miss her more and more with each passing milestone in my life. As I age I regret not asking her more and taking more of her life lessons to heart sooner. She never got to meet my son, she only briefly met my now Husband. So on to the point My mother and I were sitting at her kitchen table talking in a loud whisper...just loud enough to hear each other gripe about our loving husbands but as not to be overheard by them...all while drowning out the TV at near deafening levels. It all of a sudden hit me My grandma must be rolling in heaven. We used to laugh at her and my grandfather all the time their little quirks and now I'm pretty sure my mother and I managed to marry men just like my grandpa. Don't get me wrong my grandparents we're very much in love ...I'm pretty sure. They didn't show it in the usual ways. Their love was expressed thur my grandma screaming "Alex, Alex Alex" at increasing levels even though my grandfather was pretty much stone deaf. Then she walk away grumbling to herself that he never listens. I married a well driller who I'm pretty sure has A.D.D. Our TV volume is set at a steady 60 I swear! I now retreat to the dinning room to "play" on the computer because the noise level is causing panic attacks. I often find myself wondering how did grandma get grandpa to wear those earphones and where can I find some. I became addicted to the afternoon soap All my Children at oh I'd say the age of 10. How you may ask, wasn't I in school!! Yes, during the regular program time I was happily enjoying silent sustained reading time or lunch, but you see grandpa would interrupt my grandma's show constantly. So being the clever fox she was she programed the VCR to record her show everyday and then watch it when grandpa took his afternoon nap. Which happened to coincide with my arrival after school, thus a soap addict was born. I now have my DVR set to record the same show as to play it after my husband is asleep for the night or at work, because just like Grandpa my husband has something very important to disscuss as soon as All My Children comes on. Yes, Grandma I now understand ....laugh away.

"If it's a broken part, replace it If it's a broken arm then brace it If it's a broken heart then face it" ...a quote from the wonderful Jason Mraz. So more and more I'm hearing this song and seeing how it applies to more then just a relationship between a man and a woman. Having been glued to my T.V and now spending my son's naps glued to the Internet searching for information on our presidential and vice presidential nominees. This is what I begin to think, the broken part is George W Bush, replace him!!!! I think the broken arm is our entire government we need to do something about education, health care, and our economy!!! And the broken heart may very well be the people of this wonderful nation. It seems that everyone is disheartened "my vote won't count", "they just do what they want anyways", "they are all liars".

In The first presidential race for George W Bush I knew he was the wrong candidate for me by one simple statement he made on MTV's debate. He honestly believed that only abstinence's should be taught in sex ed across the country. WRONG ANSWER in my opinion This will never work. Maybe Sarah Palin's daughters school decided on this approach???? My decision was made up right then and there. Game over.

Back then it was easy for me to decide. This time around I have more at stake. It matters more what I decide because it's not just my choice. You see I have a child now and I plan to have more. So my vote isn't only for me, it's for my children's future. Which candidates (Pres and V.P) will do the best job to allow me to give my children the type of childhood I had? Which candidate will allow me to let them be kids for as long as they can? Which candidate will protect them and their friends from the grown up issues that should not affect them? Its a personal choice one has to make for themselves, but I urge everyone to remember whats at stake in this election our planet, our right to choose; what to do with our bodies, who to marry, if we want to serve our country in the armed forces, and what type of energy we will use in the future. Not to mention the issues in our economy, tax's, health care, and war. Inform yourself about all the candidates Presidential and Vice Presidential. There is more at stake then most of us realize.

The other mommy (dramtic music here)

Today was a long day. My son is going to bed earlier and earlier and yet my days seem longer and longer. This morning was greeted with a text message from Lil P's play date's mommy saying that when she got in the shower her lil man fell asleep so they will be a lil late. A little late!!!! There is no lil in an hour and a half!!! Usually I could care less what time the play date starts or ends, but Lil P is getting his two year molars at barely 19 months. At least I think he is every time I try to stick my finger in his mouth to see I'm left with bite marks that nearly broke the skin on my poor defenseless fingers...and heaven forbid it be in public....other moms staring at me after I unleash a slew of swear words fit for a Tarintino film. Anyhow, once his play date finally arrived to my tantrum throwing, nookie sucking, blanket carrying monster I decided the best idea was to walk the boys to the park and play for a bit. All was good in well as we walked I managed to seem interested in whatever it was she was babbling about and the boys we're happy as long as I forked over a continuous supply of crackers. So let me pause here to give you a little of the back story on the other mommy. We were not friends before we had our sons. I wouldn't even say we were acquittance's I went to school with her baby daddy. Anyhow once our sons we're of that age and I was to my max on boredom I figures we'd have a few play dates and everything would be grand. Thanks myspace, i.e. the devils playground. I did not heed warnings from my best friend(her sister in-law) and her husband (other mommies brother) my sister (they have mutual ex's) and about everyone else who had encountered this woman..wait let me rephrase girl. No, No I had to give her the benefit of the doubt, I should have know better. The OM (other mommy) has drug me into every aspect of her sadly immature world. Asking me everything from how to get her boyfriend (and I use the term loosely) to stop drinking to inviting me to those f$%$ing parties that they sell you stuff at. Now I have no problem with a sales party once and a while. Hell, gives me an excuse to ditch the boys and get in some girl time but once I month she is selling everything from tupperware to sex toys. I don't receive just one or two invites (reminders) I am barraged with 10 to 12 harassing emails and text messages. I wonder what constitutes a stalker???? Anyhow I tuned in on the walk back from the park to hear her rattling off about her most recent party...the sex toy one. She was rattling of a list of what she had bought. Now I'm pretty open and carefree when it comes to this stuff but com'on I really don't care if you just bought the 3 speed supper dooper rabbit hummper dildo. We are not friends and if we were I still don't want to know what you bought. After a certain age I stopped filling my friends in one my crazy sex stories. Come to think of it maybe it happened when the crazy sex stopped LOL. Regardless as I walked along pushing my close to speaking toddler I thought oh come on your really not going to discuss dildos in front of a couple toddlers shouldn't this conversation be reserved for Friday night drinks? I tuned back out hopping it to be that last of the sex toy talk. Not so lucky we got back to the house and she shoves a magazine in my face saying "I'm closing my sales today so if there is anything you want let me know" And I thought in my head I stick to doing my dirty toy shopping online in my pj's in the dark of my dinning room now that I am determined to get those wild days back..... Thank you very much....as I mumbled something about "we don't need sex toys things are hot enough around here" Ya I'm a bitch some days but if you wanna push my buttons I'll push yours right back and I can do it better girl!

My first Blog

Well well where to begin. I am a bored...let me rephrase that I am avoiding the housework of a stay at home mommy. I play mom to two crazy pugs, Ace and Coco. One crazy lil Man we shall refer to as lil P (17months) and of course the love of my life, Pepper. And yes, that is his real name. I get that a lot. I say I am his mommy too because I really am some days. Now yes I know I agreed to be a stay at home wife/mother but I swear I was not giving an accurate job description. I never realized that when I said I would give up my four, yes four, jobs to stay home that he would interpret that as..."Oh I never need to put my dirty clothes in the hamper again. If I get it in the general area that will do." or "she will put the cap back on that mayo for me" I love my life really I do but in discussing this phenom with my other married friends I've found I am not alone. For some reason in between dating and the retirement years men suddenly seem to become helpless in terms of picking up after themselves. I've asked my perpetually sarcastic husband about his lack of cleaning skills his smart-ass response goes something like this "well, honey I want you to feel needed. " I have yet to determine if he is tyring to be funny or if he may really think that making messes gives me something to do so I feel needed. All in all I've come to the conclusion that God or whatever higher power you choose to believe in has one hell of a sense of hummer. Men and woman's brains function so differently that he actually believes making messes for me to clean up is going to make me happy. HAHAHAH that is funny. But the biggest joke of all is that I do clean his messes and I still love him with all my heart at the end of everyday. Can we have a spouse swap not like the TV version I want his day to day life for a day and he can have mine. Maybe then those dirty clothes will make it to the hamper......well I can dream.